Harvard, I'm back
How does being back feel? Energizing.
The other day, I woke up at 4 am to take way-too-early flight to Boston, got to campus, checked into my hotel (Sheraton Commander in Harvard square) and decided to take a nap. Yeah.... That's not gonna happen.
I laid in my bed for approximately 7 minutes (Harvard Time, anyone?) and the adrenaline prompted me to action.
In rain. In wind. I didn't care. I was going home. And so I went, to my dorm and got a Veritaffle (a waffle with Harvard's logo on it). Then I went to Coop (Harvard's book- and merchandise- store), and paraded through the Yard pretending that "I (still) go here." I went to Widener and Lamont libraries, the second one of which I had a true love-hate relationship for the past 3 years. They (expectantly) didn't change a bit.
I miss it. I miss all of it. The hours put in the library, the craning for exams (wait. Did I really just say that?), the rushing to lecture at 9, the seeing friends wherever I go, the dressing up just in case I will run I into an ex boyfriend (nearly all of whom left Harvard already), the getting lunch with my dean, the cheap alcohol, the dancing on final clubs' tables, the guys in bow ties who seemed like "men", the going to office hours, the pick nicks on the bank of Charles River, the dorm and grad school formals, the balls. The everything.
And so I spent a morning at Harvard, with a (more than one) tear of nostalgia in my eyes. (Looking back, I guess it was actually good that it was raining ).
Though it felt weird. And it felt weird because I didn't recognize anyone. Yes, if I was to stay (which was seriously very tempting), I would probably make new friends, fall in love with new guys, and studies for different exams. But it wouldn't be the same. It would be me, forcing to replicate the past instead of opening myself to the future. And most of all, it wouldn't be the same, because it's really not the buildings, nor the textbooks that made my memories - it were the people. The people, whom I loved, treasured, and whom I very dearly miss.
The bottom line is simple: live in the present, but remember your past - it made you who you are. But more than anything remember the people who were in your past - because 'the past' in itself doesn't exist, it is really the people that you have met that shaped you. And when you and them go into different direction make a point of it to stay in touch, to fly across the country (or world) to see them, after all they are the guards of your adventures.
Side note on Sheraton: it somehow has become much more than a hotel for me. Rather a chest of adventures ready for me to open every time I come to Harvard. I stayed there during the weekend when I came to see Harvard, before I even got in. Then, in the 4 college years, I met men there, fought with men there, I attended gala dinners, and recruiting events, I cried and I laughed. And it has come in full circle, I am staying them as an alumni, a recruiter, ready to give students encouragement as they make they way into the 'real world'.
It might be silly, but somehow this one place on Earth, Harvard, to me is simply magical.